


Tales and Folklore From the Officer's Academy

by Rulerofthecosmosandsnails



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Crack, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, byleth is captain holt, change my mind, just crack, this is so stupid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-02
Updated: 2019-09-02
Packaged: 2020-10-05 19:29:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20494070
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rulerofthecosmosandsnails/pseuds/Rulerofthecosmosandsnails
Summary: There are five thousand people living at Garreg Mach Monastery.These are their stories.





	Tales and Folklore From the Officer's Academy

“Look, Claude, all I’m saying is that if you get caught by Seteth, you won’t just get detention. Listen, I’ve heard he has eyes and ears around the entire monastery - “

The aforementioned schemer waved her concerns aside with a sweep of his hand. “Hilda, sweet Hilda, hear me out: sure, he’s probably got knights who report to him, but they get sent on missions all the time! And, I’ve heard that the next one is this Sunday, so the monastery will be short-staffed for a little while… that’s our chance to strike.”

“What are you two planning now?” Their professor’s flat tone interrupted Hilda’s retort. The two students were silent, staring at their teacher until he sighed. “…Just don’t do anything to the dining hall again. You remember what happened when you put that rat in the - “

“Yes, yes, teach, I remember!” Claude cut in, his smile a tad too nervous. “Cross my heart, I won’t do anything like that again.”

He eyed him as he set two marked exams in front of their respective owners. “Uh-huh. In the mean time, please look over your recent exams. I’m offering a chance to correct them if you feel your score isn’t adequate.”

Claude nodded as she moved to the next desk. “Alright, thanks dad.”

Everything seems to pause. Raphael and Ignatz’s heads swiveled from where they were sitting in the front to stare at him. Leonie and Marianne were gazing at him in disbelief, though while the red-head’s stare seemed to bore into his very soul, Marianne managed to discreetly sneak glances every few seconds. Lorenz looked at him like he’d sprouted a second head, and Hilda was barely restraining giggles. Even the professor stopped in his tracks to raise one brow at him.

“…Why is everyone staring at me?” One of his hands flew to his hair, but he felt nothing out of the ordinary on his head.

Leonie managed to break the stifling silence. “You just called the professor ‘dad’. You said, ‘Thanks, dad’.”

Claude’s eyes widened as he sputtered, “No I didn’t! I said, ‘Thanks, man’.”

Byleth turned to face him fully as Lysithea tried in vain to hide snorting giggles behind her hands. “…Do you see me as a father figure, Claude?”

“N-No! I see you as a bother figure ‘cause you’re always bothering me!”

Raphael’s chair almost toppled over as he shot out of it. “Hey! Show your father some respect!”

Claude’s ears were rapidly turning the color of Edelgard’s cape. “I didn’t call him dad!”

“No, no no no, Claude.” Byleth moved closer toward him; Claude scooted backwards in his chair. “I take it as a compliment.”

“It’s not a big deal,” Ignatz laughed nervously, “I called Professor Manuela ‘mom’ once, when I was in the infirmary.”

Claude gestured to the smaller boy with a wild wave of his hand. “Guys! Jump on that!”

Hilda snorted and crossed her arms. “Old news… but you, calling professor ‘daddy’ - “

“Hey, daddy is not on the table here.”

“But, you did call him dad!” Lysithea managed to get the sentence out through her laughter.

“Shut up! You asked me to accompany you to the dining hall one night because you were afraid that a ghost was going to pop up!” He was grasping at straws, and short ones at that.

The white-haired mage abruptly stopped laughing. “H-Hey! I never told you I was scared of ghosts! But the ‘dad thing’? That just happened!”

“A-ha!” Claude almost jumped out of his seat as he pointed at her. “I got her to admit that she was scared! See? It was a trap, all part of my crazy, devious scheme!”

“I believe you.” Byleth said.

Claude bowed graciously. “Thank you.”

“…Son.”

In response, the house leader straightened up from his mock-bow and huffed. He put his hands on his hips and stared at the floor as if trying to burn a hole into it.

Byleth tilted his head slightly. “Would you like to talk about it over a game of catch?”

Claude sighed heavily. “…I’d like that, yes.”

**Author's Note:**

> im permanently tired. anyways if you want to request a prompt do it in the comments or DM me @alilbitofawriter.tumblr.com


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